How to share wildest sexual fantasies with your partner

 

When it comes sharing sexual fantasies, even How to share wildest sexual fantasies with your partner  the ''closest'' couples find it hard to communicate their innermost ''naughty acts'' to each other. But if you're one of those who don't want to miss out on the fun, then here are few tips to get your mind ''moving''.

Not many couples are able to act out their sexual fantasies even if they are pro in the sack. The problem-How to share your wild thoughts? What would your partner think about you? How would he/she react? Will they comply or not?

Such questions and many others flood the minds of many sexually active adults who want to explore their wildest of sexual dreams, reports Fox News.

While sharing lewd, obscene, or sensuous scenes with your partner can pose to be a big problem, it also has an upside- not only can you divulge your sexual desires but could even get a sneak peek into your lover's libidinous thoughts as well.

So if you want to spice things up by sharing it all, sex and relationship expert Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright's guide will prove a saviour for you.

And she says that before taking the plunge and share, you should first ask yourself the following questions:

1. What's my motivation?

Why do you want to share this fantasy? What turns you on about sharing? Do you hope the sharing can be a form of foreplay or something more? Are you hoping that your fantasy will be fulfilled? Will it be advantageous to your relationship to share, revving up sex for the both of you?

2. Will sharing diffuse my own pleasuring?

Many lovers like to have a few tricks up their sleeves in bed, and their private fantasies are often what makes or breaks the sexual moment. Whether it's getting through a sex act or working your way to orgasm, will sharing take away from how your fantasy benefits you now? Will you be able to enjoy having the cat out of the bag?

3. Am I in the right kind of relationship for sharing?

Not every relationship can weather such intimate sharing. You need to be in a secure, trusting relationship. Your sexual union should be able to provide you with the support and safety needed to get over any nervousness and anxiety, and to field any reactions. Lovers need to make each other feel accepted and emotionally safe. This includes being able to refuse a request to act out a fantasy without putting the other down.

4. Can my partner handle my fantasies?

Some lovers can't handle hearing about certain sex acts, especially if they involve "who" you''re fantasizing about. Partners who are sex negative or uncomfortable with sexual intimacy in general are not going to be the best candidates for such sharing. So consider what your lover may be open to and which types of fantasies may cause more harm than good.

5. Am I ready to hear my partner's fantasies?

Lovers tend to expect reciprocity when sharing fantasies. It's usually not a one-way street, so you have to consider how you might react to your partner's fantasies. Can you go there? How can you provide the same safety you're hoping for?

After the self-questioning comes the sharing part, so think long and hard about when to open up. And don't expose a fantasy after a hot romp, for it may not be received as well as one meant to arouse desire.

Let your partner know that you want to share something and explain your reasons for wanting to share.

Finally, remind your lover that your relationship means more than any fantasy. Your partner should not feel undesirable at all.

What women think while having sex

A Hollywood hunk, ex-lovers, a blue film scene and even what to buy in a grocery store—these are things that women think of while having sex.

What women think while having sex

Some women have now revealed what really scores with them between the sheets.

Single comedian Shazia Mirza, 34, said that some of her friends revealed that during sex they are mentally writing a to-do list, remembering clothes they have to wash, what they've got to buy at Tesco's or those shoes they love in Selfridges.

And some women even think of men they secretly fantasise of.

"A friend of mine, who really loves her husband, told me that during sex she can't help thinking about all the men she secretly really desires, like Jeremy Beadle and Jeremy Paxman," the Sun quoted her as saying.

"I've been married twice and had many lovers and to be honest, with past lovers I've been so bored in bed, I've taken to compiling mental grocery lists and calculating exactly how many shoes are in the wardrobe (82 pairs)," said author Kathy Lette, 51.

What women think while having sex

"Most wives are taken for granted. But how we'd LIKE to be taken is by a muscular-thighed Adonis with pecs appeal.

"Luckily sex with Johnny Depp is only the flick of a light switch away. Ah, Johnny - a man whose sex appeal is so deadly it should be registered at police headquarters as a lethal weapon.

"Doing the horizontal tango with George Clooney is also amazing - if only he'd been with me at the time!" she added.

Sarah Millican, 33, is in a relationship, and she said: "I never walk out of a film at the cinema. I'm the same with sex. I always think it might get better. To be honest, as long as I've got a bag of Maltesers, I'm not going anywhere."

Male menopause symptoms 'identified'

For the first time, scientists claim to have identified the symptoms associated with what has
been termed late-onset hypogonadism or 'male menopause' caused by a reduction in testosterone production in some aging men.
However, unlike female menopause, which affects all women, the male menopause is relatively rare, affecting only two per cent of the elderly men, and is often linked to poor
general health and obesity, say the scientists.
A team from Manchester University, Imperial College London and University College London has based its findings on an analysis of the testosterone levels of 3,369 men between the ages of 40 and 79 years from eight European nations.
The scientists asked details about their sexual, physical and psychological health and found that only nine of the 32 candidate symptoms were actually associated with low testosterone levels, the most important being the three sexual symptoms -- decreased frequency of morning erection, decreased frequency of sexual thoughts and erectile dysfunction.
Their research concluded that the presence of all three sexual symptoms, together with low testosterone levels, was required to establish a diagnosis of male menopause though
other non-sexual symptoms may also be present.
These other symptoms included three physical symptoms -- an inability to engage in vigorous activity such as running or lifting heavy objects, an inability to walk more than a km,
inability to bend, kneel or stoop -- and three psychological symptoms -- loss of energy, sadness, and fatigue.

Viagra and its side-effects

If you think Viagra and other erectile drugs are passport to satisfying sexual encounters, think again. Dr Mahinder Watsa warns you of their side-effects
It's a growing phenomenon to find all health related issues being prescribed a pill. Common cold, a mild headache, to generally feeling down and out, everything comes with a pill to snap you out of it. Sex then, is no exception. Increasingly, we find young men, with no apparent major sexual problem, taking to drugs meant to help the ones suffering from erectile dysfunction. To make matters worse, hardly anyone realise the adverse repercussions of such self-medication. A temporary boost in their sexual performance, may land their long-term wellness in jeopardy.
The larger picture
The fast food generation is slowly forgetting the art of love and depend excessively on easily available drugs to whip-up their flagging sex life. Scientists may credit Sildenafil as ‘the magic bullet to help couples have deeper and more satisfying sexual encounters.’ But the truth is, the drug doesn't cause an automatic erection. For it to be effective, mental and tactile stimulation and foreplay engagement is required.
Ask the pro
Vatsayana of the Kamasutra fame has suggested many ways to stimulate desire and performance for sexual happiness. He was innovative enough to come up with seven different ways of kissing, eight varieties of touch, four methods of stroking the body and eight sounds that may be emitted during sex and foreplay.
How can drugs, meant to delay ejaculation or correct erectile dysfunction, replace the bond that lovers feel when they touch, kiss, cuddle and care for each other?
Blame your priorities
A survey among youngsters revealed an interesting facet. In terms of priorities, a good career was ranked the highest (by almost 60 per cent), followed by social service (18 per cent) and then a happy marriage (13 per cent). If your priorities are lopsided how do you expect to be sexually satisfied? Sex and love aren't water-tight compartments in a marriage. One aspect invariably affects the other. If you don’t make time for your lover, how do you expect to sexually and emotionally connect?
The risk
While overuse of any drug always comes with risks or side-effects, an over usage of Sildenafil can lead to a series of serious sideeffects such as addiction to the drug, headache and dizziness.
Image makeover
People still rely on the clich├ęd ‘macho’ image, with many men behaving as if their brains are located below their belts. Many mistakenly believe that if they take a tablet, they will perform better. Just one failure at sexual intercourse (which is a perfectly normal occurrence) may land them in wrongly using an erectile dysfunction drug. If they improve their lifestyle, get rid of misconceptions, modify priorities and work on their attitude, chances are that they would never require such drugs.
The real reason
To be sexually happy, one needn't join the ‘Erectile Dysfunction’ club. One of the following could be your reasons for the occasional non-performance:
• Overeating and being obese
• Alcohol, smoke or drug abuse
• Guilt of an extramarital relationship
• Pressure to perform with an extramarital partner
• Overwork
• Anxiety and tension
• Lack of exercise
• Problems in your sex life can also be side-effects to certain illnesses and disorders. In such cases, relying on erectile drugs can only make matters worse. In many cases, diabetes or cardiac problems are discovered when the person complains of ‘sexual problems’.
• At times, drugs that are meant to correct disorders, disrupt normal sexual functioning leading to dysfunction issues. For instance, diuretics, anti-hypertensives and anti-convulsants, etc are known to have adverse effects on one's sex life. As awareness grows, physicians are now being careful during the prescription stage itself. Various studies are being carried out to study the relationship between these drugs and one’s sex life.
When it’s actually needed
Erectile dysfunction drugs may be required temporarily to regenerate interest. The inability to get a good erection in a young man causes unnecessary anxiety and tension and can even lead to suicide in extreme cases. The only instance where erectile drugs are useful (among normal adults) is to restore their confidence and show them they ‘can’ get an erection. No amount of drugs can help the couple to achieve sexual happiness. The key lies in solving interpersonal differences, believing in equal partnership and caring for each other’s wishes.

Into sex out of peer pressure

Love or no love, 'everyone is doing it' is the pitch for having sex. Virginity is primitive. One-night stands and no emotional baggage is cool. Marriages are perpetual decisions and live-in relationships are mainstream.
And teenagers are not far behind.
The trend to be in a relationship is now becoming an image liability among young peer groups and they feel irresistible pressure to confirm to what their friends are doing. Dr Anjali Chhabaria, clinical psychiatrist, based in Mumbai, mentions a case about a 13 year old girl who was in and out of relationships, yes even at that age!
"The child herself wasn't happy being in these relationships. But felt compelled to do so because she wanted to be accepted as the hottest girl in her friend circle. And the numerous relationships that she got into was just to prove that point."
In another case, Dr Pulkit Sharma, clinical psychologist, VIMAHNS tells us about a 14 year old boy who felt inferior because his classmates would constantly jab him for not having a girlfriend. "When friends discuss sex as 'great fun' peers begin to feel the pressure within and relate it directly with self image and self esteem," says he.
Often sexual desire becomes the premise for a relationship. As Apurva Pandit, a post graduate psychology student recalls her early college days, "My friend would always complain of her boyfriend being too touchy. But since the relationship was new and it got her much-needed emotional support, she went along with it."
Agrees Dr Pulkit Sharma, "Relationships where sexual needs are a priority are rampant today. There may not be a loud and clear demand for it, but mostly boys may subtly pressurise their partner for physical involvement."
Amit (name changed), a software professional recalls his college days. Being the studious types, he was not keen on talking about sex or anything related. But one of his friends would explicitly indulge in sex talk. Since the incongruity was immense, this friend later shifted to another group and Amit got to know later, he went on to have numerous flings.
Peer pressure and westernised media may have de-senitised people towards sexual relationships. But are mental and emotional capabilities to be forsaken?
Warns Dr Dheerendra Kumar, a clinical psychologist, "Portrayal of western culture and media exposure has floated casual sex as a trend. Now there are condoms for twelve year old boys! But the situation can be a reverse if a girl gets pregnant. The same friend circle might refuse to accept her. And all of this can be extremely demanding on a person's mental health."
Sense of morality and preparedness varies with different people, but impressions at a young age can impact an individual's whole life. Talking about a case, Dr Anjali says a 35 year old patient's reason for panic attacks was found to be linked to his teen years. "He was raised in a very promiscuous manner and to prove his masculinity, he slept with a girl at the age of sixteen. But since he couldn’t deliver, he took himself to be impotent and the fear of impotency depressed him all those years."
Often in such cases people may end up feeling depressed or guilty. There could be irreversible personality changes as emotional upheavals of these kinds have tremendous impact on a person.
Dr Dheerendra blames the narrow mindset that forbids parents from talking about sex with their children. With curiosity in the fast lane, such issues need to be addressed. "What parents need to understand is that sex education is important. And attitudes have to change," says Dr Anjali Chhbaria.
Considering casual sex is at the verge of being internalised as a part of lifestyle in teen years, its urgent that parents catch up with their children just in time and not let teen years be a distressing period that can agonize a lifetime.