Too many Sex Babas are driving this reporter crazy; add to it a foreigner friend who is all crazy about sex. the lesson: Spirituality in sex ain't that easy
Lately, a 'spiritual quest' first-timer friend, who recently landed in India, has been complaining. "Now a days, whenever I think of sex, the images of the fornicating godmen crop up in my mind," she grumbles. "Is it something to do with Tantric Sex? " she questions. 
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Not only these just-exposed ichchadhari babas are messing up with my friend's sex life and my normal life, but are also giving birth to a delusion about one of India's greatest gifts to the West.
So dear friend, who landed from foreign shores with dog-eared books on Kamasutra, these men can give you a discourse on running a prostitution empire or grabbing acres of land successfully, but they have nothing to do with that thing called Tantric sex.
To help you, I found out a number of theories depicting various viewpoints over the definition of Tantra. One of the popular ones states Tantra as a religious philosophy, in which 'Shakti' is the main deity of worship. It focuses on spiritual practices and ritualistic form of worship.
Tantric sex evolved from early Hindu Tantra, as a sensible means of catalysing biochemical alteration in the human body to aid an enhanced sense of awareness. "And then, in the Sixties, it went West and came to be identified as a popular technique to heighten sexual well being," explained Dr. Vinod Chebbi, Director, The Medisex Foundation. So, today, Hollywood actress Scarlett Johansson has lengthy sex sessions with her actor boyfriend Josh Hartnett, while rapper P Diddy floors model Kim porter with Tantric sex sessions which last 30 hours!
Practitioners focus on various techniques like mind focus, breathing, muscle contraction, spiritual sound energy projection and nutrition among others. "A lot of people from abroad, who are stressed and have a deteriorating marital life, come to us seeking guidance. Practiced in a correct way, it can solve a lot of marital problems and help one achieve a robust sex life," added Dr Chebbi.
But I discovered unfortunately, it seems to have vanished from the very country where it originated. "There are a very few genuine practitioners who can guide in the correct way. We tried to look for workshops this season, and it landed us in Haridwar.
And it didn't turn out the way we expected," disclosed Mitzi Gerber, who came to India with her husband from Germany and kept looking for someone to guide them on Tantric sex. Another Finnish couple did try contacting a spiritual healer whose 'expertise' was Tantric sex, but they realised she was someone who simply wanted to make a quick buck. "Today, we stick to books, and I feel they are a safe, sure medium," they said.
Then, there are organisations like Tantrananda School of Tantra, that organise Tantra workshops, but they, too, have a word of caution for those looking to learn the art. "Go only to the genuine ones," cautions Guru Bhakti Shakti, who is behind the school.
So, start with the books, instead of watching Sex Babas on TV and getting mystically muddled up. Nothing works as well.
Grab these books before you grab 'em
1. Desire: The Tantric Path to awakening, by Daniel Odier
2. The essence of Tantric sexuality, by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson
3. Kiss of the Yogini : Tantric Sex in its South Asian Contexts, by David Gordon Brown
4. Red Hot Tantra: Erotic Secrets of Red Tantra for Intimate, Soul-to-Soul Sex and Ecstatic, Enlightened Orgasms, by David Ramsdale and Cynthia W. Gentry
5. Tantra for Erotic Empowerment: The Key to Enriching Your Sexual Life, by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson
6. Tantra - Discovering the Power of Pre-Orgasmic Sex, byYogani
In order to feel more self-assured, attractive, and sexy in your own (bare) skin, you’re going to need to spend time doing things unclothed—besides just showering and having sex. I’m not suggesting anything extreme, just an assortment of activities to do, designed to gently nudge you out of your covered-up comfort zone.
- Take a Bath
- Share Dinner in the Nude
- Snooze in the Nude
- Get a Massage
- Get Fitted for Sexy Lingerie
- Take that Nude Photo
The first date is a significant moment in any mating ritual—but it’s usually accompanied by sweaty palms, nervous excitement and an uncontrollable tendency to ramble. We’ve all been there. It’s no wonder we watched in awe as Andy Anderson demonstrated the top dating no-no’s in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. (Maybe we identified with them more than we care to admit!) If you want to make sure your first date leads to a second, toss that love fern aside, quit daydreaming about the wedding and check out these four essential tips:
1. Location is Everything
Sitting down to a quiet candlelit dinner can be completely daunting. Keep things social by opting for seats at the bar and ordering tapas to share—that way, you’ll also avoid the formality of sitting through a four-course meal. Don’t be afraid to get out of the restaurant scene altogether. Sign up for a wine tasting, check out an art exhibit or tee up for a round of mini-putt—they’re all great ways to take the pressure off the conversation.
2. Glam Gal
A sense of style can reveal a lot about a person, so announce yourself. Are you Bohemian? Edgy? Classic? Make sure you wear something he’ll remember. And show some skin! The temperatures may be dropping outside, but that’s no excuse to hide behind a turtleneck. Feeling attractive and sexy will build your confidence, and confidence is the most important accessory a girl can have.
3. Stay Positive
Just like laughing is contagious, smiles are too—and both can go a long way. Don’t let your nerves get the best of you. Keep the mood light (and your date at ease) by showing off those pearly whites. Chances are he is as nervous as you, so don’t hesitate to throw him a compliment—if you think he looks handsome, tell him!
4. Lighten Up
There’s no need to divulge work woes, family secrets or your dating past, so keep the conversation light by focusing on your date. Ask him about his job, hobbies or favourite travel destination. By taking an interest in him, you’re more likely to make a good impression. But be aware. If you’ve been blessed with the gift of gab, give yourself a breather every once in a while. Pauses in conversation are natural and can be a perfect opportunity to play up the body language: extended stares, flirty smiles or even a little game of footsy.
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