The first date is a significant moment in any mating ritual—but it’s usually accompanied by sweaty palms, nervous excitement and an uncontrollable tendency to ramble. We’ve all been there. It’s no wonder we watched in awe as Andy Anderson demonstrated the top dating no-no’s in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. (Maybe we identified with them more than we care to admit!) If you want to make sure your first date leads to a second, toss that love fern aside, quit daydreaming about the wedding and check out these four essential tips:

Sitting down to a quiet candlelit dinner can be completely daunting. Keep things social by opting for seats at the bar and ordering tapas to share—that way, you’ll also avoid the formality of sitting through a four-course meal. Don’t be afraid to get out of the restaurant scene altogether. Sign up for a wine tasting, check out an art exhibit or tee up for a round of mini-putt—they’re all great ways to take the pressure off the conversation.

A sense of style can reveal a lot about a person, so announce yourself. Are you Bohemian? Edgy? Classic? Make sure you wear something he’ll remember. And show some skin! The temperatures may be dropping outside, but that’s no excuse to hide behind a turtleneck. Feeling attractive and sexy will build your confidence, and confidence is the most important accessory a girl can have.

Just like laughing is contagious, smiles are too—and both can go a long way. Don’t let your nerves get the best of you. Keep the mood light (and your date at ease) by showing off those pearly whites. Chances are he is as nervous as you, so don’t hesitate to throw him a compliment—if you think he looks handsome, tell him!

There’s no need to divulge work woes, family secrets or your dating past, so keep the conversation light by focusing on your date. Ask him about his job, hobbies or favourite travel destination. By taking an interest in him, you’re more likely to make a good impression. But be aware. If you’ve been blessed with the gift of gab, give yourself a breather every once in a while. Pauses in conversation are natural and can be a perfect opportunity to play up the body language: extended stares, flirty smiles or even a little game of footsy.